I saw this by Hollybush Lane lake and though it summed up how I was feeling about the world at the moment (hope it doesn't offend anybody)!
The beginning of the week started so well. I had some online orders which always make me happy. I do a little happy dance every time I receive an order. Not sure why but maybe it’s because I have earned some money even if it’s only £20.
I also had the pleasure of delivering some of the orders personally. This was a real treat, to not only see your lovely faces but have a little chat (social distancing) and catch up over walls, fences and gates. While talking to one lady, I was standing near her gorgeous roses, which smelt incredible and watched a bee buzzing in the flower busy getting pollen (at least one of us was working 🤣 ) These small things I don’t usually get the chance to see and they make me happy. 🙂
Talking to you all, I realise a lot of you are having a very tough time. Some trying to work from home, some home schooling while working and still having to do the cooking and household chores. Trying to carry on as normal when the situation is far from normal. I think this week has hit most people as I have had so many calls with you just needing to rant, cry and laugh about your situation. Remember I am always here for you to have a chat and moan. We did this at your regular salon visits so you must be bursting by now... contact me. I'm happy to listen 🙂
I’ve felt a little sorry for myself this week too. I think we have been lucky weather wise and this week as the sun disappeared and the clouds came rolling in, this reflected my mood and I’ve felt a little angrier at the world. So I just need to rant myself.
Get ready, you might want to stop reading. I am going to into full blown rant big time....
🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬 I can’t tell you how fed up I am with it all . Trying to put all the new procedures and get the PPE equipment we need in place, with little to no money coming in and everything has gone up massively. Everything I do to get things implemented, I have to pay for. Even had to pay to do a COVID-19 course .
All this extra expenses, is not only crippling me financially but is causing me huge anxiety.
🤯🤬😤😢
Those that know me well, know, I do not go into debt and I only use a credit card to a limit I know I can pay back each month. Well that has changed, mine is up to its limit and I still have loads of things I need to get.
Then there is the uniforms situation... This is what has sent me over the edge! 😠😩 😡
I have quite a few salon uniforms of different sizes (you know, for when we’re having a “fat day”…) So I didn’t try on my usual ones, I went for my loose, safe uniforms to try on as I know I have put on a COVID-19 stone in weight. I was hoping this was due to hair growth (on my head !!),🤣 but no.... To my horror, I could only get into one of them and that was a squeeze😢. So not only do I need to pay out for extra PPE, I now need loads of new uniforms that I don’t want to buy in a bigger size.
Fed up, p***** off, f*** off, angry, tearful, frustrated, feeling sorry for myself and fat is an understatement of how I am feeling at this time.
So I know what you’re thinking, didn’t you get the governments grants, there must be something. Yes this is what I thought. There has to be something but NO there isn't! I have been in business nearly 30 years, paid all my tax , NI, never claimed any money from the government, have been self-sufficient, never asked for help. Even when I was pregnant, as I was self-employed, I again fell through the cracks as I couldn’t get maternity pay. There wasn’t a place for women being self-employed and pregnant, so the only way to get some maternity pay was to come under, unemployed! Bizarrely, at this time, I was running two salons with lots of staff, one of them also pregnant, and I had to pay her maternity pay…
So at this time when, let’s face it, I am desperate, you would think there would be some help but sadly no, again, I fall through ever crack in the guidelines, through either having my business in the Leisure Centre or being married. So my husband is meant to support me (which he is) but being a two salary family, his wage will only go so far and will not support my business and he shouldn’t have to. I did manage to get the new grant SEISS for small business. It wasn’t a lot but helped pay some of the credit card and some of the PPE equipment.
So what do I do next. 😣 I am not usually an envious person but feel like this at the moment. When I hear on our Salon network and through local friends, about all the salons who got £10,000 or £25,000 grants, they didn’t need to prove they needed it, and some have not been in business as long as me.😔 I was told I could apply for a bounce back loan. OK, well, that p***ed me off even more, why should I be put at even more of a disadvantage by having to pay a loan back, when the salons that got grants do not have to pay it back!!!!!
Had I been lucky enough to get a grant I would not be feeling like this. It seems so unfair!
It’s not anyone’s fault, it’s just how it is.
Anyway a tiny glimmer of hope is, that an email came from Rushmoor council, saying that business’s like mine that are falling through the net, may be entitled to a discretionary grant. Great I think and fill in the form. Well, I think the only thing they didn’t ask for is my waist & bra size. It took over an hour to fill in, was very difficult to add documents to it, such as bank statements ( probably due to COVID -19 and extra security.) After a long time, several attempts to get it right, and also after shouting at Reece to stop bothering me so I could concentrate, I manage to get it done and sent it off. At this stage, I notice that all of this hard work and practically begging for money, the most they will pay out is £7,000 and it goes into categories, I again fall into the lowest, so the most I will get if I get it, is £1,500. Was it worth it?!
I still feel hopeful for about an hour, then anxiety creeps back, what if this is a scam. Everyone I know who got grants didn’t have to prove their business was struggling, they just got paid into their bank accounts. What have I done? 😩😫 Usually I am so careful but desperation is making me do stupid things. Well the only positive is, if it is a scam, I have no money in my bank account for them to take. 🤪
I know lots of people are in similar situations, or have different struggles. The people that are working, are working so hard. Some have been made redundant and I feel for all of these people.
At this moment, I feel like a little girl, stamping her feet and saying it is unfair.
I think most of this frustration and anger that is coming out, is because it’s coming up to the first anniversary of losing my dad. I would normally have a little moan to you in the salon, but as that cannot happen at the moment, I just had to have a rant here and get out what’s been brewing inside me. I feel better now... rant over ...😜 now to some positives and nice things.
I have done my bit for upcycling and turned some old pallets that I had sitting in my c**p pile at the bottom of the garden (is it only me that has one of these) into a flower wall to hide the c**p pile. Saved some money, saved some waste, reduced the c**p pile and now have a lovely flowering wall to look at. WIN WIN
Also, I supported some little local business by buying their homemade face masks. So not only will I be sporting a new little design for every customer, I have reduced the paper waste and made some lovely new contacts. Some of these ladies have aspired me with their ability to turn a negative (being made redundant) into a positive by starting up a little business. Hats off to them (or masks on to them😜.)
I have also been amazed at some peoples politeness. I left some things from my clear out, outside the house, free to anyone who wants them. Some people still knocked on the door to ask if it was ok to take the things. Now I could’ve taken this one of two ways, negative way. “Can people not read, it has a note saying FREE”... I choose to take the positive way, that it is a pleasure that we have people with good manners and politeness.
Also on my walk the other day, some lovely person had put out Tomatoes plants, free to anyone that wanted them. This was such a lovely gesture or as their note said,” Tomtastic”🤪
You will be pleased to hear that my Harry Potter scar is healing up nicely and the other positive news this week is I have not had any accidents apart from sneezing and peeing myself a little. ( Hopefully some of you can relate to this)😂🤣
I am aiming and hopeful that we can open from 4th July. I am taking bookings now, for after this date with the understanding that it may change and we may need to reschedule all appointments by a week, two or three subject to government guidelines. To make a booking, please message me by email, text or call as I will not be opening the online booking until I am up and running. The online shop is still available so please take a look, any little order does help me out and makes me do the happy dance 😘
Stay well, Stay Safe and above all Stay in Touch
Alison xxx